Time for the Truth
by Lady Willamina
Summary: Gaius feels he needs to deliver some truths to Arthur about his father and the origin of his hatred of magic before he can move forward and bring about the destiny Merlin has sacrificied so much for.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; I really enjoyed the scene at the end of 'The Secret Sharer' where Arthur talks to Gaius after he'd been saved by Merlin and Gwaine. Gaius spoke so wisely and was so heartfelt and Arthur seemed to really listen to the man who had obviously done so much for him in his formative years. I believe Arthur has to learn some painful truths about Uther and magic, before he can move forward into acceptance (which he HAS to do if Merlin is ever to reveal himself) and it seems to me that Gaius would be best suited to deliver these lessons.**

**G**aius knew, deep within his soul, that his long life was coming to an end. He was not scared of leaving this mortal coil, indeed he'd been preparing himself for years. Very few people were privileged enough to live to the ripe old age he had managed; Geoffrey of Monmouth, the Librarian and Court Genealogist, was the only other person he knew that had passed their 80th year of life. Most people did not receive adequate nutrition required to live so long or they lived under such harsh conditions that their bodies weakened and gave out decades earlier.

Certainly, Gaius had seen some horrific things during his life, but he had enough knowledge and experience to know that he'd been very fortunate. Never had he been desperate for food or suffered a winter without shelter like a lot of commoners in Camelot had experienced. Nor had he been forced to endure hard labour, hour after hour, day after day, finally collapsing as poor health and/or old age caught up with him.

His duty as a Physician had enabled him to make a real difference to the lives of so many people throughout Camelot, and it gave him great satisfaction to look back at all the good things he'd achieved. Certainly he hadn't been able to save everybody on every single occasion he'd been called to, but he knew, deep down, that countless 1000's had benefited from his care.

Gaius began his training in the healing arts long, long ago when magic had an entwined role in many common treatments and cures. In fact, he had first apprenticed under a Priestess of the Old Religion named Durelda. She had shown him how to make poultices imbued with magic to cure many types of malady and fever and how to prepare salves, ointments and elixirs for any number of ailments then heighten their efficacy with the judicious input of magic.

The healing of trauma related injury, such as sword inflicted wounds or broken bones could also be aided by specific magical knowledge. To his chagrin, Gaius had not managed to master these spells which seemed to require an intrinsic ability he did not appear to possess.

When Uther Pendragon had assigned him Court Physician nearly 30 years ago he used magic almost every day as part of his work.

The birth of Arthur and subsequent death of his mother, Ygraine, saw an end to all that.

()

Perhaps the most gratifying part of his personal life had come in just the last six years. When Merlin had come into his life as an innocent and scared young man, Gaius took on the role of guidance councillor, teacher and parent.

Over the years the young man had gone from a fearful, confused and reluctant sorcerer to a powerful, committed and intelligent Warlock. Quite where he got his energy and stamina from, Gaius couldn't say.

He'd watched as his ward wrestled with his destiny and the power he held to determine the future of his friends and family. There was only so much he could do to help guide Merlin at many of these crucial moments, but he always made sure he offered all his knowledge, life experience and most of all a sympathetic ear.

He also recalled the times he could do nothing but look on as his ward was emotionally broken by the decisions he'd had to make and things he'd had to endure. At times like this, the only thing Gaius could do was offer shoulder to cry upon until the boy recovered enough to continue.

Continue he did however, no matter the loss or punishment he suffered and though it was sometimes difficult to see the forest for the trees, the destiny the Druid prophecies foretold, were finally coming to pass. Arthur was now the King and ruler of Camelot and although not entirely open to the thought of magic, there was evidence to suggest that one day that may change. No longer did he have the paranoia of Druid kind that his father preached, no longer did Camelot go out of its way to hunt down and exterminate anybody suspected of magical ability.

A great deal of Arthurs' developing confidence and the individuality he brought to the role of King had been due to Merlin's input; by both obvious means and more subtle influences. He encouraged Arthur to trust his instincts and be guided by what he believed in his heart to be right. Merlin had committed himself to stand by Arthur's side through good times and bad, several years ago and remained steadfast and true ever since. Gaius knew that even though the King would never freely admit to such a thing, the constancy, loyalty, strength and friendship Merlin offered to him meant a great deal. Indeed, at many times it made all the difference.

The sinister, evil conniving influence of Arthur's uncle, Agravaine, had been removed and none too soon. His advice had only ever been meant to cause conflict and trouble within the royal household and to undermine Arthur's leadership. He'd pushed the young, vulnerable King into unwise decisions and courses of action. Merlin had tried to warn Arthur of Agravaine's treachery and ill intent, but still raw from the death of his father and struggling with his readiness for leadership it was little wonder the new King refused to believe that his only living relation, save Morgana, could have anything but good intentions. Ultimately, Arthur could no longer deny the truth however and once again, it had been up to Merlin to help his friend get through it.

Before he left this world forever, Gaius wanted to do every last thing he could to help Merlin on his continuing quest. There was delicate, personal information he had been entrusted with that he felt could open Arthur's mind to the acceptance as magic as something other than a pathway to corruption. Of course, he would never outright tell the King that his closest friend and wisest advisor was the most powerful Warlock ever known. No, that was up to Merlin and he had no right to unfurl that particular secret.

The origin of his father's irrational and demented hatred of magic though, was something that Gaius felt Arthur needed to know. Only a few people remained alive that knew it was Uther himself that had been the instigator of the magic that had caused Ygraine's death, which in turn led to Uther's severe stance and the beginning of The Great Purge. If he could explain all this to Arthur then perhaps the young king would have a new angle with which to view past events. It had never been in Uther's mind to sacrifice his beloved wife for the life of a son. Nimueh had told him it would be a life for a life, but Uther's desperation for an heir had left him blind to the worst possible consequence of his request. The price paid had been dire for the King and the future altered inexorably for all the inhabitants of Camelot.

()

"Arthur, thank you for coming. I know you are a busy man but there are things I need to discuss with you before...well, before I leave this world." Gaius was settled comfortably in his own rooms, a bright fire blazing beside his bed and a thick, warm quilt of goose feathers over his knees. He appeared tired and his colour was not good, but Arthur would not countenance his assertion that he was near to death.

"Gaius, don't say that, there's plenty of life in you yet. You're just exhausted after dealing with winter's ailments. There were more than usual this year." Arthur tried to comfort his oldest friend. He was right too, the winter scourge of lung disease had been more severe and wide spread than Gaius could recall. He'd spent the best part of two months constantly on the go, treating the afflicted across the lower town and within the castle. He'd had help in his ministrations; Merlin and Gwen were always at the ready but had other duties and roles that took precedence. Thankfully Herebutt, a Physician from Olaf's kingdom who'd recently settled in the lower town, stepped in to offer aid to victims in the outlying villages. He was younger than Gaius so found travelling less of a hardship and had quickly proven himself to be worth his weight in gold.

"Arthur, you are proving yourself to be a wise and able King." Gaius began again.

"Thank you Gaius. That means a lot coming from you." Arthur dropped his gaze to the floor briefly and smiled, feeling embarrassed and delighted in equal measures.

"Never did I think I'd be here to witness the day that little blond boy who came to my nearly every second day to treat a scabby knee or some such childish wound, would become such a strong, proud and caring King." When Arthur met his gaze with a hurt expression he hastily added, "Don't misunderstand me, I knew you had it in you for many years now. I just did not believe it would be in my lifetime."

Arthur's face took on a solemnity, his eyes wide and compelling, "Do you think my father would be proud of what I'm doing Gaius? I don't know if he believed I was ready yet to be King?"

"Of course he would be my boy! You always made him proud Arthur, even if he was never very good at telling you how he felt. You must believe that." Gaius had such an earnest quality to him that Arthur nodded acceptingly.

"He did tell me that before he died, but I was never sure." Arthur's faint reply came.

"Well, it's a bit of a Pendragon quality, this inability to communicate one's feelings very well, isn't it?" Gaius smiled and reached over to pat Arthur's knee reassuringly. "He loved you very much Arthur, but he felt, as King, he had to keep up the appearance of hardness. He believed - mistakenly in my opinion - that the display of emotions was akin to a display of weakness."

Arthur nodded his understanding. "Gwen says a similar thing. She says my people will respect and love me more if I show myself to have a more merciful and understanding approach to being King. She said they respected my father but were in fear of him."

"And what do you think Arthur?" his old eyes searched the young handsome face before him.

"My father was very committed to upholding his beliefs," he answered, brow furrowed in thought. "I am sure he always did what he thought best for Camelot, but..."

"Mmmmm," The old physician urged, eye brow raised.

"Well, I think in some circumstances he was too inflexible and perhaps could have done better by his people to ... listen to them more and treat each individual situation upon its own merits."

Gaius was comforted greatly by the words he heard and could not stop a small smile from forming. There were times when he'd worried how Arthur would turn out. When he'd been a young child, his father had seldom showed him any of the love or kindness a parent should as he'd been so stifled by his own grief and guilt. Sure, the boy had nurses and nannies to bring him up, but they couldn't provide the sort of affection and approval a child craved from its own parent. Gaius had, of course, done his best to be a stable, caring entity in the life of the young Prince and on many occasions had been the one to comfort and explain things to him when his father fobbed him off.

"When I watch you now Arthur, I see a man who holds within him the experience of his father and has learned from any short comings he may have had. You are wise enough to incorporate all the best things from Uther's reign and add your own intelligence and compassion to the mix. The people of Camelot will surely prosper during your time as King."

If anybody else had spoken these words Arthur would have held back, always wondering if he was hearing only what the speaker thought he wanted to hear. All his life he'd had to be on guard and had realized very early on that people didn't always tell him what they really believed.

"Thank you Gaius." Arthur felt humbled and dropped his eyes to the floor briefly. "I know you truly mean what you say so...I'm honoured. I'd like to think you'd advise me if I was making a hash of things too."

"Well, I think there are a couple of others who would do that long before I did Sire."

"You mean Guinevere and Merlin I take it?" Arthur replied, one side of his mouth quirked up into a half smile as he thought of his servants' glee at telling him when he was wrong. Gaius smiled too briefly, before the seriousness of what he was about to tell Arthur caught up with him again.

"Arthur, there is something I feel I must tell you, while I still can. It won't be easy to hear but I believe you must do so before you can move on and place your own unique mark upon the Kingdom."

**A/N: Juicy bits next time.  
>How do you think Arthur will react? Should Gaius keep the promise he made Uther and carry the secret of Arthur's birth to his grave? Please review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_"Arthur, there is something I feel I must tell you, while I still can. It won't be easy to hear but I believe you must do so before you can move on and place your own unique mark upon the Kingdom."_

...

"I wish to speak to you about magic Arthur."

Arthur stiffened noticeably in his chair, his jaw muscles clenching.

"Please, indulge an old man on his death bed and hear me out Sire." Gaius urged, seeing the King's unease. "I know you have been brought up to believe that the use of magic is inherently evil and leads only to destruction Sire, but I want you to think about long ago. For many hundreds of years, up until around a quarter of a century ago, magic was performed openly throughout the Five Kingdoms. Has it ever occurred to you Sire that the kingdoms were able to exist and flourish in these times, even though sorcerers were free to practice their ways?"

Arthur looked taken aback but stayed polite out of respect for his old friend. "That's not what my father said. He said he had to act to save Camelot from the corruption sorcery was wreaking."

"Do you really believe that Arthur? How do you think he managed to conquer Camelot and then shape it into the successful and noble realm it is today if he had to constantly fight against this ... 'corruption'?"

Arthur stared back at the wise old man before him, searching his face and eyes for answers. He knew Gaius would not lie to him, he had always trusted his counsel and held great respect for the many years of acquired knowledge he held. But what exactly was he trying to say?

"I don't know. I suppose he had advisors to assist him and of course an extremely well trained army of knights. Perhaps that's why he was considered the finest King in all the Five Kingdoms." Arthur replied, becoming somewhat defensive.

Gaius shook his head. "The truth is Arthur, that magic was not a threat to your father at that time. He never speaks to you of those days, but he had both friends and Councillors who were sorcerers. I know Arthur, because I was one of them."

"I know you used magic in the past Gaius. But that was before father outlawed it."

Gaius gazed at the young King before him, not wanting to rush things. He knew it was vital that he approach the subject with sensitivity, respect and most of all, honesty.

"Yes, but it is what precipitated Uther's edict to ban magic that concerns me today. I know it's not an easy subject, but you have a right to the truth Arthur. A truth that has been carefully concealed from you throughout your life."

Arthur sub consciously pulled away from the Physician, something in the old man's words sparking fear and alarm deep within his mind.

"It wasn't long after conquering Camelot that your father and mother were betrothed. They were extremely happy and very much in love. In fact it seemed as though they had the perfect lives; they were young, powerful, had a beautiful place to live, a legion of knights to protect them, a bevy of servants to meet their every demand and enough wealth to live exactly how they wanted. There was one thing missing though and it was tearing them apart - a child and heir to love and carry on the Pendragon dynasty. It made your father so desperate with sadness and want that he turned to the Priestess' of the Old Religion to help his beloved Ygraine become fertile and deliver him the son that he thought would complete all his earthly needs."

Arthur was shaking his head, eyes going wide in panic. All too clearly he remembered Morgause's conjuring ritual and then his mother's spirit telling him how Uther had betrayed her, using sorcery to exchange her life in return for a son. The pain that revelation caused him had been so pure and strong, that he could still remember it's vicious, bone deep sting. He had come so very close to killing his father that day, before he'd been made to realize it was all an evil fabrication designed to tear the kingdom apart from within. The anger, self disgust and hatred that enveloped him had been almost beyond his self control and he had no wish to rekindle that feeling.

"No. No that's not true Gaius, it's a lie!" Arthur interrupted, voice harsh with denial. "The sorceress Morgause told me the same thing and it wasn't true! My father loved my mother, he swore to me that he'd never hurt her!"

"Arthur, calm down. I implore you, for the good of the Kingdom, please listen to me for a moment before you cast aside my words." Gaius almost begged. He hoped appealing to Arthur's honour and commitment to Camelot would get through to him, if nothing else.

The King breathed deep and steadied himself.

"Part of what you were told that day was true, Arthur. You were indeed born of magic."

Arthur stiffly arose from his seat, turned and took a few paces away. As his right-hand reached out to grasp the wooden table beside him, Gaius could see how much the young King was trembling.

"However, I cannot believe Uther ever had it in his heart to deliberately hurt your mother; he loved her more than anything. I believe her death was a tragic and hideous consequence of the fertility spell that he did not ever contemplate. However, since he was the person who procured the use of sorcery, I expect he felt an unbearable guilt at her passing." Gaius wished he could see Arthur's face. The man he'd known since before he was born, was holding himself so stiff and straight that it was impossible to judge quite how he was taking all this.

"Such a painful burden can severely affect a man's mind and in your father's case he dealt with his pain by lashing out. He closed himself off to his guilt and instead redirected all the shame and loathing he felt for himself towards magic and magic users. The rightful course of action, in his fragile and tormented emotional state, was to hunt down and kill all sorcerers and their sympathizers." Gaius paused to let Arthur absorb his words.

"Not until all the pestilence and filth they spread could be offered up, would he feel cleansed and absolved. His resolve to abolish magic from the kingdom gave him back the control that he had so completely lost when his dear wife's fate was decided."

"So began the Great Purge, Sire." Gaius finished.

Arthur whirled around and stared at Gaius in horror. He was visibly shaking with shock and all the blood had drained from his face.

"No. It's not true. It can't be." Arthur's voice was weak, his face that of a broken man. Everything he'd based his life on so far had been suddenly turned inside out and shown to be wrong.

"What I want you to realize from all this Arthur, is that magic is not, by definition, evil. It can be used to achieve many things and it is the wielder of the magic that is in control of the affect; whether it is intended for good or evil purposes."

The King was now staring at the floor, face a mask of shock. Gaius knew it was hurting to hear all this, but he had to continue, had to make Arthur comprehend.

"Your birth was a wonderful thing Arthur, it could never be considered anything but. You have grown up into a great man and the best King the people of Camelot could ever have. Surely you can see what a positive impact your kindness and honesty are having?"

Arthur shook his head, still unable to accept the things he was hearing. "What about the countless sorcerers who have tried to kill me or my father? You can't try and tell me they weren't malicious?"

"I cannot deny they had intention to cause suffering Arthur." Gaius pulled himself up into a straighter sitting position, locking his eyes with the Kings. "But they were acting out of revenge for the wholesale execution of their kin that your father had commanded. They witnessed or were the loved ones of people put to death, without a decent trial in many cases, in the name of a powerful man's guilt ridden conscience. Of course they acted in anger. Would you not try to gain retribution if someone killed a person you held dear?"

"Gaius! Please stop! You're saying it's all his fault. It can't be!" Arthur all but shouted, running a hand through his hair in agitation. If he heard that sort of talk from anyone else, they would be in the dungeons before they could scratch themselves.

"I know how much Uther's death hurt you and I am sorry to cause you any further pain by blackening the image you hold of him in your heart but I need to tell you the truth. Nobody else can and I am willing to risk any punishment you may carry out, in order to do so." Gaius finished calmly but firmly. He could see the King's chest rise and fall as he breathed deeply and his eyes flitter from place to place in a barely controlled panic.

For some minutes, neither man spoke. Arthur lost in an internal struggle between the teachings of a lifetime and this new knowledge. The suggestion that his father had brought about the backlash of magic users towards the Pendragon family via his guilt drenched, irrational and unfounded condemnation of all sorcery was enough to shake the foundations he'd built his life upon. It meant all those executions he'd been forced to take part in were actually baseless murders, that countless families had been torn apart for no good reason, that hundreds of Druids had been hunted down and killed in the name of one man's guilt and most alarmingly, it meant his father was deluded and crazy!

"Arthur, I am breaking an oath I made to your father by telling you of these events but I believe it is my duty to you. If you are to lead Camelot to a safer, prosperous future you need to have all of the lessons that histories can teach us, at your disposal."

"That's enough Gaius!" Arthur looked the physician square in the eye, trying to maintain dignity and poise. His trembling, forlorn voice betrayed him however, "I can't deal with all this at once." Dropping his gaze, Arthur retreated a few paces to the main work bench and slumped down heavily on a wooden bench. "I need to think."

If all this was true, then his father had lied to him, about everything. A part of him wanted so desperately for that not to be so, but he couldn't help the doubts in his mind kept surfacing, refusing to be ignored.

He turned to look at Gaius from across the room, his voice faint and strained, "Why did Merlin tell me it was a lie?" The memory of himself confronting his father after talking with the spirit of Ygraine fresh in his mind once again. His sword poised at his father's throat, death a mere flick of the wrist away.

Gaius knew exactly the moment Arthur was referring too and he anticipated Merlin being brought into the discussion at some point. He knew he'd do whatever he had to, to protect his ward if it ever came to it. Fortunately, on this occasion, he didn't even have to lie. "You were about to run him through Arthur. Merlin had to do something to stop you. If you had gone ahead and murdered Uther, you would never have forgiven yourself. I know he hated himself for lying to you but he had to, to protect Camelot's future and most of all to protect you."

Arthur had his eyes closed and was still holding himself unnaturally still, as though any movement would be enough to fracture him and in so doing release an unbearable torrent of painful emotions.

"I thank you for your honesty Gaius. I am sorry you carried that secret with you for so long. I can only imagine the burden it must have been." The king delivered his words stiffly and perfunctorily, his pale, calm surface hiding a whirlwind of crushing thoughts and emotions.

Without meeting the old physician's eyes again he took his leave and retired to his personal chambers. He had no memory of the walk through the castle and only hoped nobody had spoken to him as he did not have the self possession to answer. As he slammed and locked the door to his room behind him, Arthur felt the energy drain from his legs and he slumped to the floor, shaking violently. In the privacy of his chambers he let himself be Arthur; not king, brave Knight of the Realm or all powerful leader. Tears he'd kept suppressed welled quickly and soon turned into deep, heart wrenching sobs as he finally gave vent to the pain and betrayal in his heart.

**A/N:** **I can't imagine Arthur would accept this stuff straight away, can you? Do you think Gaius should have gone about it differently? Was he too harsh/ gentle?  
>Arthur will speak to Gwen and Merlin next.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer; I do not own the characters or concepts or anythng else herein. All belong to BBC and Shine.**

**A/N:** **Instead of Arthur speaking with Gwen I have decided to explore Merlin's reaction to Gauis after he finds out what Gaius has told the King.  
>It was difficult to know how Arthur would react - anger, fear, denial <em>etc.,<em> so I decided to follow the seven stages of grief (mostly) to portray his likely emotions.  
>i should probably warn you that there's not much action in this fic (you've probably already gathered that anyway) but lot's of angst, painful emotions and struggles with previously abhorent notions.<strong>

Denial and disbelief were the first emotions Arthur felt engulfing him as he stayed isolated and shut in his chambers for the remainder of the day. Although Arthur knew his father wasn't perfect, the version of events Gaius had told suggested that Uther's mind had been permanently deranged after Ygraine's death and that he was guilty of the murder of countless innocent people.

After years of indoctrination, Arthur's head told him it must be a perversion of the truth; an impossibility. It was too painful and disturbing for him to believe otherwise, so his first reaction was to hold onto all he knew ( or thought he knew ) like a drowning man clutching a lifeline. For his entire life Arthur had been told that the execution of magic user's was entirely justified because they were a danger to everybody in Camelot, spreading corruption and filth wherever they went.

Uther's unyielding conviction had been the foundation the kingdom stood upon and strongly impacted the man Arthur had become. If this was all the fabrication of a man's deluded mind, what was there left for Arthur to hold onto? Had Camelot been built on a foundation of lies and murder? His whole belief system was suddenly fractured and crumbling, the ground he stood upon vanishing beneath his feet. Arthur suddenly felt very alone and out of his depth.

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon when Merlin entered with the Kings nightly repast. Arthur was standing at his window, his right shoulder leaning heavily on the wall beside him and surveying the courtyard scene below.<p>

"Sire, I brought you some food." Merlin placed the platter of meats on the table. "You didn't touch your lunch Arthur. I could prepare you a headache tonic if your head still aches?"

(Once he had recovered his composure after his initial breakdown, Arthur had sent orders down to Sir Leon and his Queen to take over the official duties of the day, due to a sudden illness. )

Arthur turned around partially, barely hearing Merlin's words.

"Arthur? Is your head still sore?" Merlin repeated a bit more forcefully, still getting very little response. It was clear to Merlin that something was deeply troubling his friend. This whole headache thing was not cutting it anyway. Since when had Arthur pleaded illness to relieve himself from his duties? If something upset him, his usual response involved action and aggression; a particularly arduous training session or a days hunting seemed to be Arthur's usual way to alleviate stress and help him in his decision making.

"Arthur, is there something wrong? I haven't seen you like this since Gwen..." Merlin stopped himself mid sentence, not sure if he should continue. If Arthur was so upset that he'd isolated himself away like this, it must be something pretty dire. As he continued to study Arthur he could see how tightly his jaws were clenched together and how tense his back and shoulders were, almost as though he was holding something inside.

Merlin wondered what had happened this morning to cause this response in such a strong and confident person as Arthur and even more worryingly, what would happen when the pressure got too much and the walls of the dam burst open.

"Arthur?" Merlin took a few steps toward the window Arthur was standing in. "Sire, you should eat something."

"Merlin. Just leave me will you." Arthur answered weakly over his shoulder. "I need to be alone."

Many hours had passed since his discussion with the physician this morning and it was taking it's emotional toll upon the King. He was exhausted from wrestling with his thoughts and emotions, trying to make sense of the new knowledge in a way that didn't hurt. His earlier feelings had started to give way to guilt and blame as he continued to try and make sense of things.

"Arthur, please. Whatever it is, maybe talking about it ..."

"Just go!" Arthur interrupted, shouting in such a lonely and desperate voice that Merlin knew he could not possibly obey. Arthur needed him and there was no way he was going to let him flounder in this pool of misery all alone. Merlin stood where he was.

"I cannot do that Arthur. I know you're the King and as a servant I have to obey you, but as a friend I refuse to leave you in this state any longer. Please, talk to me Arthur."

Arthur remained in his defensive hunch for another minute or so before Merlin could finally see his shoulders begin to droop. Breathing deeply a few times, he turned to face his servant, brow furrowed in thought.

"Merlin." Arthur began then stopped. How could he tell him how hearing those words meant so much to him, that knowing he was always by his side, especially when things were difficult, seemed to give him that extra bit of strength and resolve. What had he ever done to deserve Merlin's loyalty and support? _This emotion thing was so difficult!_

"Merlin, what do you do when you've just found out that everything you believed in was a lie? That your birth resulted in the deaths of hundreds, maybe thousands of innocent people. How do I ..." he broke off weakly.

Merlin's stared, his eyes widening in shock as he tried to fathom what Arthur meant and what had lead him to this new theory. Obviously he'd found something out; Pendragon dirty laundry had finally been aired.

"Gaius and I had a long talk this morning and he told me about how magic was involved in my birth. The Great Purge; it happened because I was born Merlin!" The King's eyes were red and glistening with tears as he spoke, his face fixed firmly upon his friends.

"No Arthur no! You're looking at this the wrong way. There was nothing evil about your birth! You were a blessing to Camelot and to your parents. Don't ever think it was your fault!"

Merlin's mind reeled. "What did Gaius say exactly? He would never tell you that!"

Merlin had approached his friend as he spoke so that they were now only an arms length apart.

Arthur shook his head. "No, he didn't say but those words. But that's how it feels Merlin."

"Arthur, listen to me. You were an innocent baby. How could you possibly have been at fault? Your father made the decision to out law magic Arthur! He didn't heed the Great Priestess's warning and when Ygraine died his guilt and shame fired his need for destruction. Uther alone began The Great Purge Arthur!"

"Do you and Gaius often discuss other people's life changing secrets over dinner?" Arthur retorted sarcastically, lashing out at anything in his fragile state.

"No, of course not. I only found out after Morgause summoned your mother. When we arrived back at Camelot and I knew you were going to confront your father, I made Gaius tell me what he knew then."

"But you told me it wasn't true Merlin! You told me Morgause made it all up! How could you lie to me like that?" Arthur was trembling with withheld anger and frustration.

"I had to Arthur. You would've killed your father and that would have destroyed you! You never would have forgiven yourself. Camelot needs you. I hate lying to you Arthur, but I had to."

Arthur turned back to the window again and Merlin feared he was once again retreating into silence. For a number of minutes neither man spoke.

"So many lies Merlin, too many." Arthur looked up to the ceiling. Was he searching for answers from above?

"I know." Merlin mumbled sadly, knowing that they'd only touched the tip of the iceberg so far.

"I don't know what to think anymore Merlin. Was my father's persecution of anyone with sorcery driven solely by his own guilt or is magic genuinely the evil thing he proclaimed it to be?"

"It's not my place to tell you what to believe Arthur but it seems to me that magic itself is not an evil thing. Yes, it can be used for ill intent and I know you've experienced more than your fair share of that. But there are many sorcerers who use their skills for positive reasons, like healing the sick or helping crops grow. Maybe it's not as clear cut as Uther wanted you to believe."

Arthur was staring intently at his servant, eyes squinting in thought. His mind had been churning away violently all day and an intense pressure was building in his head as a result. He squeezed the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb, partially to ease the throbbing and partially to give himself time to figure out what he wanted to say.

"You sound as though you're speaking from personal experience Merlin. Where have you ever seen this 'good magic' taking place? Nowhere around Camelot I trust?"

"No. Well, that is, I can't really say Sire." Merlin dropped his gaze to the floor as Arthur retreated into the defensive role he was more comfortable and familiar with.

"Mmmm. Is that so."

Merlin sneaked a look at his King again, trying to gauge his state of mind. Was it possible? Was it finally going to happen? Had Arthur really reached the stage where he could see magic as something other than unequivocally evil? Merlin felt his heart rate increase and a warm glow of happiness flow throughout his entire body at the prospect.

"It's as though everything I knew as fact has been blasted to fragments by a battering ram." Arthur raged. "I don't know what to believe. Have I been living a lie Merlin? All those people I've brought to their deaths. How could he have lied to me like that?"

"Whatever he was thinking, I'm sure Uther never mean to hurt you Arthur."

"Gaius said he thought I should know the truth so I could make informed decisions about Camelot's future. I thought I knew what direction the kingdom should go, but if all this is true, i'll have to rethink everything."

* * *

><p>Arthur had hoped that he might be able to rest once darkness came, but he could not stop his mind from reeling with the weight of all this new and unbidden knowledge. As the hours passed and he meditated over all he'd lived and experienced so far, a few chinks in the armor he'd built up from the lessons learned since childhood, began to appear.<p>

It had certainly occurred to him on a number of occasions that his father reacted too judgmentally and without rationality. He'd always been so quick to condemn anybody suspected of sorcery to a horrible death, no matter what the individual circumstances were. Arthur had tried to reason with him on a couple of occasions when children had been involved or if a he suspect had been using their powers to heal the sick or stop their family from starving. Uther had remained unmoved though, claiming any use of magic would lead to depravity and the ruin of Camelot.

The Druid people were a conundrum to Arthur too. Clearly, they were peaceful and no threat to his kingdom, yet for years Uther proclaimed them dangerous and had then hunted down and killed. Arthur knew many Druids did possess magic, but all the evidence he'd seen and heard suggested it was for healing and assisting.

The more Arthur searched himself, the more doubts and questions he came up with.

* * *

><p>Merlin returned to his and Gaius' quarters once Arthur had dismissed him for the evening, closing the door silently behind him. Gaius was seated comfortably by the fire, eyes closed.<p>

"Gaius." Merlin called gently. The old man opened his eyes.

"Ah Merlin. I haven't seen you all day." Noticing the dark, anxious look on his young ward's face he succinctly put two and two together.

"I see you've been talking to Arthur." Merlin nodded. "I expect you're angry with me but, in time, you'll see it was for the best."

"Why didn't you warn me you were going to tell him about his birth Gaius? Actually, why did you tell him at all? I thought you'd sworn an oath of secrecy to Uther?" Merlin asked, confused and a little angry.

Gaius took a deep breath before beginning. "Merlin, I know Arthur will be upset..."

"That's an understatement!" Merlin interrupted with uncharacteristic sarcasm.

Gaius huffed quietly. He was too old and tired to have to face this sort of censure, especially since his foremost motivation for revealing the information he had, was the very person doing the disapproving.

"Don't you think he deserves the truth Merlin! He needs to know these things if he's ever to see magic in a different light."

"I know, but he looks so lost. It's painful to see him like that Gaius."

"Merlin, sometimes learning what we truly are and what our lives are all about is not a pleasant experience. You must know that by now surely? It will be up to us, and Guinevere, to guide him through this difficult time Merlin, to help Arthur see the way forward through all the anguish and confusion he must be feeling at the moment."

Merlin regarded his gaurdian closely, his expression changing suddenly as he finally reached a conclusion. He leaned back in his seat slightly before starting to speak.

"You told Arthur for me didn't you? So he'd have reason to look at sorcery in a new light, so that he might, in however small a way, begin to believe that magic isn't the absolute evil Uther had convinced him of for so long."

"That's not the only reason, my boy, but it is certainly my hope." Gaius replied, nodding gently. "If it's the last useful thing I ever do on this Earth, I wish to help you and Arthur towards the greater goal of reuniting the Five Kingdoms and returning magic to the land. I've seen you sacrifice so much Merlin, more than is fair for any mortal man, and I will do all in my power to aid your journey. It is clear to anybody who knows you that having to deceive and lie to your best friend pains you deeply. I fear if it goes on for much longer, the guilt will start to eat away at your goodness and kind heart Merlin and that would be a tragedy."

"Gaius, I don't know what to say. You took huge risk for my sake and I can never thank you enough." Merlin felt tears gathering in his eyes as he spoke.

"My boy, you are the closest thing to a son I have. Nothing would mean more to me than for you to be accepted for what you truly are by those closest to you - to be able to live in peace and contentment." Gaius regarded the young Warlock in front of him fondly, noticing how deeply his sentiments seemed to be affecting him. He had hoped Merlin knew already how much he meant to him but maybe not?

"Do you really think it'll ever happen Gaius?" Once before he'd let himself believe the time for Arthur to accept magic was close but due to Morgana's interference, it had turned out worse than ever. Dare he think it possible now? Gaius nodded solemly.

"It is your destiny Merlin. Of course it will happen. I may not live to see it but you must have faith Merlin that Arthur will one day come to view magic, not as something to be feared and persecuted but as a special gift that can, and indeed should, be used for the benefit of all the Five Kingdoms"

"And me Gaius, will he ever accept me after I lied to him for so long? I don't even know if I deserve it." Merlin averted his eyes shaking his head forlornly.

"Of course he will Merlin. You'll be the one to show him the way. All you have to do is be yourself and when the time comes, he'll know."

THE END

**A/N** **Well, that's the end. My goal in this story (and most of my stories really) was to help Arthur along so that he will begin to see that Uther's condemnation of anything involving magic and sorcery was ill placed. I think he will accept Merlin having magic better, if he first believes that magic is not evil.  
>I don't know how or if Merlin will ever get to reveal himself to Arthur on the show but it HAS to happen eventually or what was the point?<br>Please review. I would really like to know if you thought Arthur's reaction was convincing. Even if you just want to tell me off for shoving Gwen aside!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I thought I had finished with this story but then decided Gwen _really_ had to be in it. Most of the converstaion she has with Arthur is taken from a deleted scene from 'The Wicked Day'. Those deleted scene's sure get us fanfic writers something to think about!  
><strong>

Queen Guinevere was worried. It had all started the morning Arthur had claimed to be ill and then retreated into his chambers for the day. Since then he'd been withdrawn and distracted, only interacting when absolutely necessary, even with her. At first she'd given him space, supposing all the pressures of being King were lying heavily upon his shoulders. She made it clear that she was there if he needed to talk and trusted he'd tell her what was worrying him in his own good time.

Arthur had only been King for a matter of months and was still grappling with all the decisions and duties he'd had to assume. All the schooling he'd undergone to prepare him for the role where worth very little when it came to the stone cold reality and Arthur struggled greatly after being thrown into the position when his father was murdered. He had little confidence in his own decisions and relied upon the opinion of his Councillors and especially his Uncle, Lord Agravaine du Bois, greatly. Finding out his Uncle was a traitor had been a great blow and made him question his ability to be a good King even more. Gwen wondered if her husbands' silence was due to further self recriminations on his part. Perhaps the Councillors had said something to dent his already fragile confidence?

Nearly two days had elapsed since then and Arthur was still brooding. Wringing her hands in nervousness Guinevere entered their private chambers, determined to get her beloved to open up to her.

Arthur was sitting at his desk, papers spread out before him. His thoughts were clearly elsewhere though, as he gazed off into the middle distance, his quill dripping ink onto what was probably an important document. Gwen approached him quietly and gracefully, although inside her stomach was in knots.

"Arthur, I know something is troubling you, you've been so quiet and withdrawn lately. As your Queen and wife I had hoped you'd confide in me. I want to share your burdens and worries Arthur, please what is troubling you so?" A desperate part of her wanted to ask if it was her. Had she done something to push him away? Was he thinking of her mistake with Lancelot and would it blight their relationship forever?

Arthur turned his face toward her, his wide eyes and furrowed brow betraying his emotions. "Guinevere, I'm sorry I've been so distracted. Please be assured I love you more than ever, but this is something I need to work through on my own."

"Worry is not a wise counsel Arthur. Perhaps if you spoke your concerns out loud, things might become clearer."

Arthur stood up and reached for Gwen's hands with his own. He pale blue eyes were sincere and his touch gentle and reassuring.

"Guinevere, I want there to be no secrets between us." He drew her over to the dining table and they sat down, eye to eye, hands still entwined.

"Some things have been brought to my attentions lately that have shed new light on the reasons why my father's chose to condemn magic. There is significant doubt in my mind that his reasoning was sound; that sorcery is the absolute evilness he proclaimed. If I am to approach the Councillors about rescinding the Laws regarding sorcery..."

"Does this mean you're thinking of lifting the ban on magic?" Gwen interrupted him mid sentence.

"You think I'm mad don't you?"

"Who am I to say what you should do?"

"Yet, I value your opinion above all others."

"Perhaps I'm not the best person to ask Arthur. If it wasn't for magic, my father would still be alive."

"Of course, I understand, my mother also died because of sorcery. All my life I've acted under my father's beliefs, but maybe it's time I stepped out from under that shadow and thought for myself. Guinevere I'm starting to believe that not everyone who practices magic is evil."

"Perhaps that's true." Gwen replied thoughtfully.

"Then isn't it time we stopped treating them like they are. Maybe my judgement has been clouded by s much fear and hatred that I couldn't see anything other than what I chose?"

Gwen knew how difficult this change of attitude must have been for her husband. To have your entire life's beliefs thrown in your face, then having the maturity to admit you may have been in error all that time, must have taken great strength. Her heart swelled with pride and love for him.

"That's a courageous attitude."

"I don't know if it's courageous or foolish."

"You're not a fool Arthur. You have a good heart and good instincts; you have to trust those instincts. Sometimes that is all any of us can do."

"So you'll support me if I decide to approach the Council on this matter?"

"Of course Arthur, I'll support you no matter what."

And she did.

* * *

><p>EPILOGUE<p>

It was two weeks later that Arthur announced his first proposal to the Councillors. He decided against a major upheaval of the laws, fearing the inevitable backlash and resultant turmoil for all of Camelot's inhabitants. He had no wish to repeat the mistakes of the past, so a series of smaller amendments made over a longer period of time seemed the wisest option.

Of course the plans to lead Camelot into a new age where magic was legal were not solely based on Arthur's ideas. Merlin, for some reason Arthur couldn't quite fathom fully, had been most effusive when discussing with Arthur the best way to bring change to the kingdom. His knowledge of sorcery was second only to Gaius' which also perplexed the King as very little literature was said to have survived The Great Purge and how else could the servant have obtained such information. Gaius seemed to undergo a new lease of life when he learned of Arthur's plans for the future and he too proved extremely helpful. Gwen was always by his side, hearing out his ideas and boosting his resolve when he started to get cold feet.

The first change King Arthur introduced was to open the lines of communication with the Druid people. They were no longer to be vilified and treated as criminals merely for existing. Furthermore, representatives of the Druids were asked to come forward and help educate the King and his Councillors as to what their magical abilities entailed and what they were used for. A Druid leader named Iseldir was the first to respond to Arthur's request and the two men spoke as equals, teaching each other much.

A precipitous event a couple of months later gave the young King the ideal opportunity to make further changes to Camelot's legislation. A young boy, aged no more than 12 summers, had been in the markets of the Lower Town with his mother when an unfortunate horse broke its leg severely in an accident with a cart. Moments after the event, several people witnessed the lad use magic to heal the struggling animal's hideous fracture, thus saving his life and probably the livelihood of its peasant owner.

Everyone acknowledged that Uther would have condemned the boy to execution forthwith, but Arthur refused to do so. In front of the entire court Arthur proclaimed the boy's innocence. Yes, he possessed magic but had not shown any sign that he was using it for evil or selfish intent. It was Camelot's relentless persecution of anyone with sorcery that had driven them to use their abilities for revenge, he argued, and if they halted the campaign of fear that Uther had begun so many years ago, perhaps they would begin to see magic in a new way.

Initially, the murmurs of descent amongst the court and Councillors had been loud and numerous. As the weeks went by and word of the King's portentous proposal spread throughout the realm, more and more people came forward to declare their satisfaction at the amended laws. A surprising number of nobles sent petitions of support and anyone walking in the Lower Town inevitably came across meetings of peasants, merchants and farmers who felt the same way.

The King, Queen, their retired Physician and a certain man servant, were delighted by the reaction of the people. Arthur had anticipated some rebellion to his rescinding of Uther's laws and regulations but there had been token resistance only. Clearly, a lot of the inhabitants of Camelot had been living under suppression and tyranny. It seemed a heavy cloak of darkness and fear was lifting from their collective shoulders and both poor and wealthy alike gladly embraced the future the young Pendragon was ushering in.

* * *

><p>Nearly a year and a half later Merlin and Gaius (still very much alive) sat talking over a supper of stew and bread.<p>

"Gaius. I think the time has finally come." Merlin spoke barely above a whisper, eyes glistening with nervous anticipation.

"Tomorrow I'm going to tell Arthur about my magic."

And he did.

**AN: I'll leave it there, but the way has been paved for a favorable outcome. I'm not saying it won't be easy for either party, but I believe this new Arthur will be able to accept and love Merlin with magic. HE BETTER ANYWAY!  
>Merlin deserves to be loved and appreciated for all he does for Camelot and Arthur, as we fans know. I truly hope this happens on the show in Season 5. Let him be happy and have no secrets and lies please authors  producers / directors _etc._!**


End file.
